RED FLAG SIGNS HE'S A PLAYER

Us women might say it's easy to detect a player yet we somehow always get to end up dating one.



Nancy Kalish, Ph.D., a psychology professor who has researched and written about lost loves, has observed this phenomenon so many times among her female patients that she decided to get to the bottom of it. Over 18 months of study and interviews, Dr. Kalish found that philanderers share a startling number of characteristics. Know what those red flags are, and your play-er will be right on target. So, here are five warning signs to watch for — as well as five signs the guy you’re seeing is an upstanding, sincere sort that you should consider keeping around.

1. He’s bold.
For the player, the pickup is a game. He doesn’t approach women with the same nerves or awkwardness of a normal guy. He’ll walk up confidently, with a big smile and great eye contact. His manner will be smooth and put-together. This doesn’t mean you should look for the opposite — a stuttering wreck — but be wary of a guy who acts completely bulletproof. A little anxiety is natural.

2. He declares his feelings right away.
Players employ a “fast come-on,” according to Dr. Kalish, making sweeping statements of affection (e.g., “You’re the most perfect woman I’ve ever met”) from the word go. These declarations can feel very welcome, especially if you’ve been in a string of relationships that lacked such intimacy. Just remember that true closeness takes time, and it’s normal for a guy to be more guarded about his emotions.

3. He always plans romantic dates.
Dating for the player is kind of a performance art. And he’s going to be good at it. “He won’t just bring a box of chocolates,” Dr. Kalish warns. “He’ll take you to a state fair and offer to share cotton candy.” Nice guys can be romantic, too, but life with them won’t always feel like a Robert Pattinson movie. Nonstop rooftop picnics and weekends at the cottage could be too much.

4. He has lots of acquaintances, no close friends.
The player tends to be a lone wolf. That doesn’t mean he lacks for golfing buddies. The same way he charms women, he can charm lots of people in his life. The key is that, in friendship as in romance, his affections run broad but not deep. If solid pals are hard to come by with this guy, consider yourself warned.

5. He’s a thrill-seeker.
A guy who spends his spare time looking for a rush — fast driving, bungee jumping, kite-boarding, heli-skiing — should give you pause. This type, says Dr. Kalish, craves the excitement that comes from conquering a difficult challenge, and that goes for his relationship goals as well. Once he’s “conquered” you, your allure may quickly fade.

Source: http://yahoo.match.com/y/article.aspx?articleid=8717&TrackingID=526103&BannerID=678815

Hmmmm.... I think I have been dating one. Time to burn that red flag down then